Like, really fuckin’ small.

It took the Los Angeles Lakers just five games to vanquish Portland in the first round. The Trail Blazers used Jusuf Nurkić and Hassan Whiteside to try to match size against the likes of Anthony Davis, Dwight Howard, and company, which in flashes did do some good in slowing down the Lakers from attacking the paint with ease. But, it was largely not enough to stop the aforementioned AD and LeBron James doing what they do best: punish opponents inside.

The Lakers now advance to round two to face a Houston Rockets team that actively pretends the center position never existed.

The Rockets, sporting scoring wizard James Harden, Energizer Bunny Russell Westbrook, and a flurry of guards who rise and fire without rhyme or reason from deep, are once again back in the postseason thanks to their “unique style” of play.

This, of course, is their attempt to take what Stephen Curry and the Golden State Warriors have done to change the league and completely inflate it: jack up as many threes as humanly possible to outscore the opposition, as well as burn them out by being as small and quick as possible while they do it.

Countering this, at times brutal [to watch] style of play, are the Lakers, who have turned me into a broken record harping on about their size and their need to exact its presence, leaving us with a fascinating matchup of two immensely different practices of how to play the game of basketball.

History will tell us that the Lakers should have nothing to worry about. They tower over Houston’s tiny lineup, assuming they stay with the same lineup they started against OKC. PJ Tucker, whose heart and toughness does allow him to play bigger than he’ll ever be, is going to have his work cut out for him trying to slow down a well-rested King James. On the other side of the block, Robert Covington is left with defending Anthony Davis, words unable to describe how overmatched he will be.

Houston’s only answer for the Laker bigs is lone center Tyson Chandler, a well-seasoned vet whom Houston will have no choice but to insert into the rotation at some point in the series. Although Chandler is no scrub, he is beyond his best years and has barely seen action in the bubble. Chandler will also slow the Rockets’ pace of play whenever he takes the floor; and a set Laker half-court defense means limited easy looks at threes for Houston, as they’ll need to settle for contested one-on-one shots against the Lakers’ longer guards. Tucker and Westbrook do cover their lacking size with effort on the glass, but even their best won’t be enough for the trees the Lakers have down low, minimizing easy looks off offensive rebounds.

The Rockets also barely snuck by a team that had a 1% chance of making the postseason, as big bad Chris Paul and the Oklahoma City Thunder nearly earned this matchup.

And real quick, he IS built for this despite being the one who’s headed out of Orlando. Don’t get it twisted. He took a hodgepodge, rebuilding roster all the way to the final possession against the league’s most explosive offense while handling all the social justice and bubble endeavors as the president of the NBPA. Huge ups for OKC and CP3.

But back to the Lakeshow.

The Lakers’ size, surplus of rest, and guys named LeBron and Anthony Davis being on their roster suggest this should be another series over in 5, maybe 6.

But with this quirky Rockets squad, you can never be sure. Their ability to get insanely hot from three (in part, because that’s the only damn shot they take) can put games out of reach quickly and early, depending on how they come out. Especially against teams like the Lakers who do not consistently shoot it well from beyond the arc, and who again will greatly miss the defensive efforts of Avery Bradley against Harden, Westbrook, and Eric Gordon, among others.

The biggest x-factor for Los Angeles is the play of Kyle Kuzma on both ends. Just as the Lakers will force Houston’s hand to play Tyson Chandler at some point, the Rockets will shrink the Lakers late in games, leaving a Bron, AD, Danny Green/Alex Caruso/Kentavious Caldwell Pope, Kuzma/Markeiff Morris lineup to close every ‘down to the wire’ game in this series.

Kuz typically closes anyway, but again, the Lakers will need every bit of him to gain and maintain control of this series. In previous regular season matchups, the Rockets liked to switch Kuzma onto James Harden whenever the two coexist. In most of these games, Kuz has shown to become easily frustrated with Harden’s ability to draw that ticky-tack contact, and his overall game suffers from his displeasure with the refs.

On defense, he’ll have to be ready to switch onto every Rocket at any time, rebound with effort, and when Harden is the matchup, contest as best as he can without fouling. Even as a spectator who can barely watch Harden shoot 20 free throws a game on bullshit calls, I stick to the mantra that Harden tortures everyone with it, and Kuz and the Lakers will have to do the same in this series to keep the officials from throwing off their flow.

Aside from good defense and staying active on the glass, rising and firing confidently round out what Kyle Kuzma needs to do for his team. As these rounds go on, the Lakers will need him consistently be that third guy to the dynamic duo of LeBron and AD more and more.

I always try to be as fair as I can when analyzing even my favorite sports teams, but somehow I see this series as less stressful than the previous against Portland.

Damian Lillard was scorching coming in, with plenty of motivation behind him after the Twitter beef with the Clippers’ Patrick Beverley and Paul George. Portland actually had centers to throw at Los Angeles. It was also the Lakers’ first postseason in some time.

But the Rockets should be spent from battling OKC. Russell Westbrook looked horrid in his two returning games, and he shares a track record of losing more games for his team in postseason than he wins them with his bearded running mate. And when the Rockets go cold from outside like they’re bound to do at least once or twice against the vaunted Laker defense, they’re insanely vulnerable.

I feel we’ve yet to see James Harden truly pop off in the way only he can, and as bad as Westbrook and his playoff history look, he’ll only benefit as time goes on by getting his legs under him. And you’re never out of it with the three ball in your arsenal.

Despite this, I expect the Lakers to once again cruise into the next round and their date with the LA Clippers.

Let’s run it, Houston.

Wrote this to Big Sean’s new album. Shit’s fire.

Cheers.