Once again, it’s been awhile.

Finals are over for the second to last time in my life, and a lot has happened in my little sporting universe since I last posted.

The Browns futility need not be discussed, and the Lakers have brought me so much joy that a gushy post about how much I worship Anthony Davis just seems unnecessary. In other words, I have no words for Cleveland, and the Lakers are so good what more can I say that’s already been said? So we can rain check a post for those two.

Though there was one bit of news that I think needs to be discussed.

I’ve had over 24 hours to mentally accept that Madison Bumgarner will not start Opening Day for the San Francisco Giants in 2020.

I’ve watched all the highlights over and over: the home runs, the postseason heroics, the yelling at guys to run down first base. I even listened to that Marshall Tucker Band song about 100 times.

And safe to say, still sad.

What can I say? This is the great thing about sports. You grow up with guys. Watching their highs and lows, seeing their growth right before your eyes game by game. The love affair between fans and players is what makes sports the spectacle that is it.

I grew up with Bum. I would say we became men together, but I’m pretty sure that 20 year old who debuted against San Diego in 2009 was already plenty grown.

From the bouts with Puig to chugging several bottles of Budweiser at once, we all have our favorite Bumgarner moments. So rather than whine, here’s my top five list, with the YouTube clip to match if you want to join in the weeping with me:

5: Calm Down Rook (07/31/15)

Whether it was Puig, Max Muncy, or Jesus Guzman, we never got tired of MadBum telling dudes to shove it. But I chose this one because it really embodied two of the many Bum qualities we love: he’s a tough ass that plays the game the right way. Rookie Delino DeShields got a little too theatrical, and Bum let him know that’s not how we do things up here. The other aforementioned moments can be mistaken for a guy being grumpy about getting rocked, but I always felt like Bumgarner was mentoring a young guy here, even if he was on the other team and he wasn’t nice about it. Unapologetic, competitive, and full of fire. That’s our Bum.

4: Big Time in the Big Apple (10/05/15)

I remember watching this game with my roommate and my girlfriend in our small, off-campus housing apartment in downtown San Jose. Hearing all the “F*CK YEAH BABY”‘s from several other rooms who also had their windows open when Gillaspie took Familia deep in the 9th is something I’ll hold onto forever. Just a classic postseason pitching duel that once again saw Madison Bumgarner assert his superiority over the competition in October. This was also another middle finger to those who even after 2014 still somehow didn’t want to credit the Giants for their World Series runs. Keep disrespecting us, MLB Twitter. I saw that “Classic World Series Moments of the Decade” video. Weird the team that won three rings in the decade didn’t even get a wink, but go ahead. We’ll keep shining them every week or so.

3: Silencing Pittsburg (10/01/14)

Now this game I watched at home with my dad and my uncle, who brought Jack in the Box tacos to hold us over while the greatest postseason pitcher to walk the Earth began the greatest pitching postseason run in the history of planet Earth. We sat back after the Crawford slam, had beers that I totally wasn’t allowed to have (but come on, it’s October baseball), and just watched Bum slowly suck out what little life that blacked out Pirates crowd had left with strikeout after strikeout. A lot of people just remember the World Series games, but this really set the tone for what was to come for Bum and the Giants that postseason. More mastery from the postseason master.

2: A Legend is Born (10/31/10)

Yeah, nobody was trick-or-treating this Halloween. It was the 2010 run, and we needed a shut-down start to make sure the Rangers didn’t mount any more momentum from their Game 3 win. Enter a rookie who would barely be old enough to drink the champagne they would pop in the coming days. 8 shutout innings on three hits. On the road. Against the best offense in baseball that year. The legend of Madison Bumgarner was born. Everything about the 2010 title run holds the biggest place in my heart, and this was no exception.

1: A Legend Forever (10/29/14)

No rendition needed. Just re-watch the greatest of all time permanently engrave his name in Giant lore, and baseball history.

Walking down memory lane after the news broke certainly did help with the coping. But ultimately, we’ve known this was coming, it was just a matter of if we wanted to believe it. The team is moving towards a rebuild, and not everyone can get paid, especially with the Posey and both Brandon contracts.

Could the Giants have paid him? Yes, they reportedly offered 4-years and over 70-mil, similar contracts to both Craw and Belt’s. But he chose Arizona’s 5 year deal to keep hitting dingers, play in familiar parks, and live in a place he and his wife really love.

Could the Giants have rebuilt even with Bumgarner there? Of course, he would continue to sell tickets to the fans not as willing to see a rebuilding team and been a great mentor for the younger arms. But he chose a D-backs team that, although not better than LA (thank GOD he didn’t chose the Dodgers, by the way), is a much better fit to win right now.

The front office is moving in a new direction. And although the fans aren’t out of place with their displeasure, this is for the good of the team. We have to reconfigure and get back to our winning ways. Farhan and company have been tasked to do just that, and I have faith that they will.

And we’ll be falling in love all other again with new guys that, hopefully, bring us more postseason magic.

But no matter how many Giants come and go in this lifetime, none of them will eclipse what Madison Bumgarner has done for this city, this franchise, and us fans.

So Bum.

If you ever stumble across this while you’re roping cattle, chopping down trees, or “nursing baby rabbits back to health,” I just want to thank you.

For all of it.